Reasons You re Having Less Sex

When your relationship began, you used to do the hot hokey pokey whenever you had the chance.  Now, though, you find that you’re hitting the sheets a lot less.  While it’s actually normal for the fire to flicker a bit as your relationship ages, if you’re not having sex at least once a month there could be issues.  Here are the most common sex drive killers and suggestions on how to beat them.


You’re Boozing Too Much

Sex and alcohol have a strange relationship.  A drink or two might put you both in the mood but, confirms Philadelphia-based psychologist Philip A. Rutter, Ph.D., “drinking too much can inhibit a woman’s ability to reach orgasm”.  When it comes to men, he adds that too much alcohol can cause “erectile dysfunction or ejaculatory incompetence”.

Being buzzed might intimately inspire you but drunken sex will probably be a bit lackluster.  It could also lead to bad decisions regarding birth control and safe sex.  For the best sex, experts suggest having no more than two drinks.


You've Got A Bone To Pick

Minor arguments can remove sex from the picture too.  Men can often have sex after an argument but women traditionally carry that weight into the bedroom.  Rutter says that the couples who have the best sex lives simply do not stew.  They discuss what is bothering them prior to retiring to the boudoir to do engage in the horizontal bop.



You're Stuck In A Rut

It is normal to have levels of attraction fluctuate in any relationship.  However, if your partner is not arousing you as he/she once did, you may be sexually stuck in a rut.  Step up to the plate and do something to add something new to your routine.  Try using toys, viewing couples pornography, engaging in role play or maybe just a new position.


You're Too Tired

Fatigue or simple physical exhaustion can negatively impact on your sex drive.  Being too tired mentally and physically can make even the thought of coitus laborious.  Rutter agrees that one easy answer here is to try morning sex.  He notes that typically men wake up with a morning erection “so half the work” is already done.  


You're Just Too Tuned In To Be Truly Turned On

If your smartphone or tablet are getting into bed with you and your partner every single night, you can almost count on having less sex.  It is more difficult to initiate sex with someone who is distracted by text messages or some video on Facebook.  Technology all too often can replace intimate moments.  If you don’t know when to turn off the tech and turn on your partner then try to remember that your bed should be used for only two things: sleeping and lovemaking.


You’re Too Stressed

Regardless of specifics, stressful events that occur outside the bedroom can murder the mood inside the bedroom.  Rutter reports that people cannot even open themselves emotionally and physically to sex if they are “mentally mulling over stressful events.”  He suggests speaking to your partner before sex and getting everything off your chest if possible.  This will allow you to relax more and get into the right mood for intimate acts.


(All photographs are courtesy of the original owners unless otherwise indicated) 

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